Eight Months Today

Good Day Everyone,
After 40 years of smoking pot today I'm 8 momths clean. Since the folks here on this forum helped me do it I wanted to be sure to thank you.
Things do indeed get easier and better, day by day, week by week, and month by month. I'm proud of my sobriety and it's very precious to me. That said it's not all been a bed of roses.
I've finally got used to dreaming again. It took me a while to remember that they were often a justification for my pot usage. I dreamed strong and vividly as a child, often with nightmares and was delighted to find that smoking pot inhibited my dreaming. Since I've gotten straight I dream nightly and even during a brief nap I will wake up with very clear recall of my dreams. After I got clean I learned a technique called lucid dreaming to help me with them and now they're old friends, comforting and helpful in the creative work I sometimes do. Last night I had one about flying around the country (flying dreams are the best) with a magic urinal! Far out ;)
About the same time I stopped smoking I started studying a technique called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). It's a form of meditation and is quite excellent for many of the stresses we addicts (or anyone) go through. As a matter of fact my local Mindfulness Practice center even offers Mindfulness Based Relapse Prevention which they offer for anyone addicted to anything since it's a way of thinking and being that can help anyone.
One thing not so positive is that those around me, particularly my wife, don't understand about feeling my feelings. I understand now that being stoned was a way to shut down and not feel anything but stoned. Now I feel happy, sad, irritated, annoyed and every feeling a normal human being feels during the course of their days and their lives. The period of over-reacting to my feelings has passed but they're still there and my wife of 30+ years doesn't like me having them and expressing them. I guess she was more comfortable with the closed down zombie I was rather than the thinking, feeling person I am now. We're working our way through that, I hope.
Anyway, thanks to all the kind folks here who have and are still helping me. For the folks new to the group, know that what happens here is effective and these excellent people can help you if you're willing to help yourself.
Take things one day at a time, step by step, progress not perfection.
Thanks again.

Thank you for sharing. I, too am a dreamer and am grateful to have that part of my life back. Best wishes to you and your wife.

Thanks Jinx, your post is inspiring. You are keeping your sobriety. I am only on day 2 of detox and am not sleeping but remember the vivid dream rebound the one and only other time I quit (had about 4 years). Thanks for the lucid dream tip.

Re: your wife. As the daughter of an addict and an addict, I also go to Al-Anon. Addiction is a family disease. I have heard at meetings that both people should be in recovery when one is married/in a relationship. I need MA because I am a POTHEAD, but AA has great sobriety and a great "Big Book." There is a chapter in that book to the families that may be helpful for her (and you to read). Al-Anon has been great for me dealing with my co-dependencies with my addict mom. My therapist says, "Behind every addict is a good co-dependent." She also says a co-dependent is almost like an addict, because when the addict is "happy" or "good" they are and when the addict is upset/unhappy the co-dependent feels upset/unhappy, thus their emotions are being modulated by something outside themselves..just like an addict. When a co-dependent sees the addict in their life get better they are happy (this is what they always wanted, right?), but also are scared of the unknown (how will they act now?, I don't know how to relate to this process they are going through..etc) and they are also losing their job of being the addict's caretaker. So, I really suggest your wife try Al-anon or something similar to understand what you are going through and so you can BOTH heal. 

Thanks for the support! My prayers are with you!!!

Way to go Jinx

and it keeps getting better.................WAY BETTER even

congratulations

Thanks Cali & Lou.
Cali, I suspect you are right. Although my wife neither drinks or smokes her father was an alcoholic and she married a stoner (me). She never lived on her own and simply traded one addict for another. Sometimes it seems that as I become more stable she becomes more unstable. I've tried to talk about getting help but since I'm the one changing she feels she doesn't have a problem. She's been seeing a "counselor" (an MSW) for 25+ years and it seems as if she feels that's enough. I could wish that the counselor would see some of the deeper issues but from their point of view that's between them & none of my business. At any rate I can only change myself, I can't change other people.
Part of the Mindful Way is to recognize and accept the world as it is, with as few delusions as possible. I'm pretty good at that aspect of the Way so I know I can't change her but I can change the way I react and relate to her. But not at the cost of my sobriety.
Of course, another part of the Way is to know that the only constant in this world is that all things change. That's a pretty hard thing for most people to accept.
My wife & I both have three siblings and she & I are the only ones with a lifelong relationship. We've gone through some pretty tough times already and I suspect we'll make it through this also.
Thanks for your support.

seems you are surely on the right track