Charlie Sheen
I am not sure if anyone else can identify with this, but...
...I developed a lot of...strained...beliefs about myself and reality when I was Out There. I doubt I am unique in taking time to apply my mind to Philosophy with a head full of really good smoke.
I did come to some valid and viable conclusions, and did sort out some stuff that needed sorting, but, ahhh, I just cant tell you honestly, right now, that I may or may not have reached those same conclusions in moments of inspired clarity while clean.
And some of them, while fascinating and Really Deep, Man, have proved pretty useless and vapid.
In any case, when we first come into recovery, we are literally stepping from one planet onto another (called Earth). Yesterday we were taking major hits of weed, all day long (does anyone else find the notion of a One-Hitter laughable?), today we suddenly aren't. As much as we would like the cure to take place as soon as we decide we want it, it dont roll like that.
That is why it is called Recovery™.
Heard of PAWS? It is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (or Symptoms, I'll look it up after). It is what takes place AFTER we go through Acute Withdrawal (probably called AWS). You know, as well as I do, that we go through weed withdrawal when we either stop or run out. If we do not submit to the craving, we experience Acute Withdrawal.
For us potheads, it is not as bad as alcohol's Delerium Tremens (DTs), or heroin's Cold Turkey, or the near-death experience of Benzo withdrawal, but it still sucks out loud, and we are kinda pretty well whacked out during this time (a good time to, say, keep our mouths relatively shut).
Once we have shaken that habit-formed expectation of saturating our system with THC, we calm out for a bit, and then we get to the next phase, which is PAWS, which takes place from about 90 days til whenever. What it is, is this: our body realizes that there will apparently be no more THC, after a little while, and thus begins the physiological change back to Normal Living (from Norml to Normal). We begin to physically re-adapt to reality.
During this time we experience mood swings, discomfort, highs and lows, and it is VITALLY IMPORTANT that we stay clean NO MATTER WHAT! The only way Out is Through! This, too, shall pass. It is part of the Recovery Process.
I am in it right now, and have been for about 2 months. It SUCKS. But.....it could be worse. Way worse. And as long as I stick with it, with working the program, going to meetings, working with my sponsor, and being available to help others, I will make it out the other end of this.
Or I can go back to the slavery of using. Eh, I dont think I want to do that.
But what about Charlie Sheen?
Well, he came off a major coke bender and walked straight into a microphone.
Ouch. Oh, Charlie, dude........
His brain is not even settled from a huge reckless 30 year binge, and, where he should be in a nice expensive rehab center for the rich and famous, wearing comfortable slippers and a fluffy bathrobe, sipping chamomile tea and going to 3 meetings a day, he is....lol.....rehabbing AT HOME, with hookers! And an equally insane Press hanging him by his every word! Yow!
In my experience, and, as far as I can tell, the experience of millions of other recovering folks, it is a humbling, if not humiliating, experience, and one best taken sitting down and shutting up...
....Not spouting off recklessly like Ahab On Steroids, surrounded by hot-trash whores labeled "Goddesses". He is off his chops, man. Way, way off.
The Laws of Withdrawal are as applicable to Charlie Sheen as Law of Gravity, so, if he somehow manages to not get high, or not drink, or not go back out on a major binge...which, after spouting off about AA (and all 12 step programs therein), where the hell is he going to go for the cure?.....
I think what I am trying to say is, we need to give ourselves a chance. The recovery process has to take place. We need to try to shut up and listen, especially when we have just touched down on the planet for the first time in years.
What we believed in yesterday? Maybe it would be wise to see how it matches up with good old sober reality, before we take a position that might make humbling ourselves practically impossible, and humiliation certain.
We know nothing about Recovery, where there are millions of successfully recovered people who do. We know nothing of living the 10th step, let alone the 3rd, 6th, 7th. We probably have our own ideas about Step 2 that need a good re-think. We, it appears, have a lot to learn, and thus are not experts on anything but The Way Of The Addict.
So, Slowly But Surely. Take It Easy. Listen And Learn. Dont Overthink It. Give Yourself A Chance. Make room for a new way of life. LEAVE room for a new way of life.
I just can't imagine how Charlie Sheen is going to be able to step back from his insane messianic outbursts into something resembling serenity via recovery. The embarrassment I MYSELF suffer by what he is doing to himself, while the press and public feed off of him like hyenas.....I mean, oy fucking vey....
But, miracles do happen. Perhaps, if anybody can, it is ol Tiger Blood himself.
(Disclaimer: I am only 5 months clean right now, and have no business spouting off myself. However, I like to write, am engaged in the process described, and have approximately 13 years of previous recovery from which to draw. This is really written for someone just coming into recovery, to hopefully let them understand this is a process and to give themselves a break and a chance, and, equally hopefully, it is based on actual program and the experience of others, and not just my addled narcissistic head - WST2))
